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| This is gonna hurt.
But honey, it's not going to hurt me.
Hi, I'm Josie. For those of you who don't know me that well I'll start off with brief description of 'who I am'. I'm this 18 year old girl. I've built this...case. This case is made of ego, pride, and arrogance. You see, this case completely encases me, no pun intended. Hit me with your best shot, you can't touch me. Or so I thought.
No wait, You can't, I'm right. That happens a lot. And in my own mind I created this world that existed perfectly until operation.
For some reason, there's an ongoing theme.
Everything works until reality.
Fall in? It's easier to pretend when they're gone.
No, you don't mean it,
You say it because you like the way it sounds.
Strangers who I give names?
Appealing to my sense of adventure.
And soothing my lack of attention.
Tell me, how long could one word last?
Consider this an intermission where I pause the rambles to ramble in sentences rather than phrases. I've recently been let down by someone extremely important to me. Well, multiple people I suppose. These days, My life is far too stable. Who would have thought that I would miss the drunks and the fights and middle of the night walks to escape from everything? Oh I love addicts. I truly, love addicts. You can't learn to appreciate stability until you've endured a lifetime without it. I guess it gave me something to complain about, but in my own mind it was different. My reality has been spun slightly different. One word varies, as if you didn't know.
The person who utters it is clearly responsible.
Who takes responsibility?
Say it. Let it come from those perfectly crafted lips.
Love. I love you.
No, you don't mean it,
You say it because you like the way it sounds.
Say it through your teeth,
I hope you'll choke.
Alone. Not lonely. My own company is all I could ever really ask for, because it's all that I could ever really rely on. It's easier to be with you. I judge myself far harder than you could dream of, especially taking into account my case.
Oh my case is a wonderful thing.
Tonight I spent my time lost in thoughts. Nostalgia in my music selection.
Please, Leave me here. | | |
| It always seems that I,
Wish I could live in the reality
That I,
Created for myself.
Is it too much to ask,
That I,
Would like to see something more?
I can’t take another second,
And I,
Would cave at the chance,
To make a change.
And If I,
Prove to you who I am,
Would it matter at all?
Or would you,
Maintain your perspective.
If I can’t change your mind,
How Can I,
Change the world?
Persuasion is long lost,
You always change,
But it’s the good things that change.
My reality is much easier,
to Endure. | | |
| What Makes You Different?
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| I just spent 10 days with the most amazing boyfriend ever. I never thought I could be completely head over heels for someone. But seeing my handsome Marine come home to me, and spending every possible second together. After 5 months of agonizing waiting. Maaaany tears were cried today. I refused to accept that he had to go back. He left me with half his wardrobe, haha. (I stole it from him, he had no say in the matter), his dog tags, a build a bear that we made together, his cologne, and so many pictures and videos. A year ago this time, I was in another relationship. But i knew, i had to be with Joshua. It was impossible at the time, but things came together finally. After his deployment, he came home. June/July of 2010. And then it was for sure. I picked him up at 6:39pm Thursday, December 23rd. And I kept him until about 10:45 Sunday, January 2nd. Although we contemplated saying I kidnapped him, the story isn't believable. He is, the most handsome man i've ever met. And makes me the happiest I've ever been. I'm gushing, I know. It's just to make myself feel better about losing him to the Marine Corps again today. <3 <3
P.S. I have the hoodie that he's wearing ^^ On right now. | | |
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